Thursday, September 23, 2010

My Gold Stars

Gold Star 1
A lot of people are up in arms because of a very quick statement that a certain female doctor, on a certain tv show, made this past Friday. To be honest though, this doctor is not the only person I've heard say "You don't get any gold stars for having a natural birth."

As a matter of fact, I wouldn't be blogging about it if I didn't hear this repeatedly, from several different walks of life. This is what truly bothers me about it. It is insinuated throughout our culture that women who deliver their babies at home or without any pain medication, are doing it to show how tough they are.

First of all, I am not tough. I am a big wuss. I cry if I get a splinter. I was not out to show the world that I'm a super mom. I was not out to show that I'm a bed of nails. Because trust me, I'm not either of those things. I, like every other mother in the world, wanted to do what was best for my baby.

(now I'm gingerly placing the soapbox on the floor and stepping onto it) And furthermore, yes, I get a gold star for having my baby at home without any interference or medications. And yes, I get a gold star for having my son at a hospital through an induction. And yes, my friends who have had c-sections, they get gold stars. And my friends who have had epidurals get gold stars too. In fact, you might want to buy stock in the gold star market, because every woman who has ever given birth gets a gold star. Heck I'll give preliminary gold stars to those who will someday maybe give birth. It is the absolute hardest task that a woman takes on, so dammit yes we get gold stars. Every birth is beautiful. The moment that baby comes into the world, Mama, that moment is yours, whether it happened in a birth tub, the hospital bed, operating room, or backseat of the taxi. Don't let any doctor, midwife, medwife, or doula take that moment away from you. When you're giving that last push, or when you are behind that blue sheet heavy with anticipation, when your baby opens its eyes for the first time in this bright world, savor that moment. Sanctify it. Because that, my friend, is your gold star. And you earned it.
Gold Star 2


  1. It wasn't so much the gold star comment that got me, it was her statement that in her opinion all pregnant women should be scheduling c-sections. That it was a common place, every day surgery and was no big deal and that mothers would recover quicker and feel better going through a c-section than a vaginal birth. I don't know about every other mom who's went through one, but I couldn't even bend over to pick Finn up from his bassinet afterwards, and I couldn't hold him while standing for weeks. It's a major surgery and I hate to see it being made light of.

  2. yes, I noticed that too. When she said "I don't know why more women don't do it!" aOh and at the end of the little "cartoon" that demonstrated how it is done, she said "And then you're back to normal!" But I really didn't want to pick her apartnd when she was talking about epidurals, the one doctor (I don't know who is who) said "Or you could just get a c-section!" Yeah, it irked me, but I didn't want to pick her apart or the show; I usually don't even watch it because I don't agree with 90% of what they say on it. But everyone is so infuriated with this statement and I just wanted to let everyone know that EVERY birth is a wonderous moment no matter how it happened.

  3. haha, that comment made no sense because I went back to try to edit it. Hope you understood it

  4. Haha, I got it. I also don't watch the show (I find all the doctors highly annoying), but I couldn't resist watching the clip when it was posted on my local ICAN's facebook page.

  5. So jess this blog post was running through my head all day yesterday. It was so hard to keep thinking that Christy doesn't get to keep her gold star. But I do agree that every mom that gives birth deserves atleast one. Rest in peace baby Nathaniel.

  6. Christy does get to keep her "gold star," it is just a little different. Baby Nathaniel was here, on this earth, in Christy's womb. The time her and Andrew got with him was so very precious, and although it might look tarnished right now, that is their "gold star." And how they come out of this, that is their gold star too. I am still keeping them and your family in my prayers