Memories

A year ago today, I went to the doctor for my 39 week check up. I had already been to the doctor twice that week to monitor my blood pressure, which was high. I had left my job at the preschool a week earlier than planned because the doctor was concerned about the blood pressure issue, and even though I only worked three hours a day at that point, and pretty much sat in a rocking chair feeding babies and rocking them to sleep, she felt that just my getting up to get ready and driving and walking around once I got there, was causing my blood pressure to rise. My blood pressure is usually lower than the typical woman's, so the fact that it was shooting up beyond what is considered "high" for a typical person was even more of a concern. At least, this is what I was told. I'm trying to keep this memory in positive light, so I will skip all of my skepticism and dislike for my medical care at this time.

So today was my 39 week appointment. The nurse came in and took my blood pressure and the doctor came in very quickly after, which was not normal at all. She told me that my blood pressure had been very high for the past week, and she was concerned about it going higher. "what are you doing tomorrow?" she asked. "laying in bed, like you told me to" I said. "I'd like for you to have a baby tomorrow."

I hadn't expected that. Tomorrow??? My due date, August 15th, was days away still. It didn't seem to me like I had made any movements towards being in labor any time soon. We discussed it furthur, and she explained that she would like for me to go into the hospital to have my blood pressure monitored, and possibly induce labor if it got any higher. I told her that I wanted to discuss it with my mother and my husband and she said that I didn't have to go to the hospital tonight, but tomorrow afternoon would be the latest. Her concern, she said, was that it looked like I might go late and my blood pressure was already too high. Going late would elevate it even more.

I was scared. I didn't want an induction. A majority of me didn't even want to have this baby in the hospital. An induction meant needles and chemicals and interventions. But I was also scared about my blood pressure harming the baby or causing difficulties in labor if I let it get higher. I also have to admit that a part of me was excited and anxious to meet this little boy. A year ago today, I was having a heart to heart with my mother, deciding what I should do.I called my husband at work, and we talked about it. Finally, a year ago today, I called the hospital and told them that I would accept this plan of action, and scheduled to go in at 4:00 tomorrow.

Although all of this took place to make Jonah come a little earlier, he was still stubborn and refused to come out until his due date of August 15th! I went into labor with only Cervadil, although they say that I was already headed towards labor having contractions even before they administered anything.

A year ago today was the day before I went into labor. My last day to be pregnant. I've never felt so many emotions at once than I felt a year ago today.